A REALLY Difficult Week

I hope you're sitting down for this one... 'cause I've been on one hell of a ride the last week.  On Friday 3/25 (the day after my 26th birthday), I flew to Lubbock, TX for a face-to-face interview for a staff photographer position at the Lubbock Avalanche Journal.

At the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport - I had a two hour layover.  

I spent three days learning about the city and the paper - swinging back and forth from "Yes, I want this job," to "No, I don't want this job."  After 3 sleepless nights, I'd decided that as long as I could survive financially, I could put up with any and all problems I'd have to encounter working in Texas and at a paper that everyone told me (and I saw for myself) had a lot of problems.  

The "AJ"

From the Press Box at Texas Tech - they'd opened a window to watch the game.  I'm a reflection junkie... so naturally I couldn't resist.  Would have been great to wait for a moment - maybe some cheering and game action... but I still like my reflection pics! :)

On Monday, I received the official job offer via email.  The salary offered would put me short of paying my bills $500 every month.  Maybe if things were different, I could tell you I've spent the last few days making travel/living arrangements and looking forward to my first day at a  new job... 

My responsibilities and obligations made the choice for me.

Monday afternoon, waiting for my ride home after work, I made one of the hardest calls I've ever made sitting on the side of the road outside Starbucks.  

Call me a coward, but I turned down the job via a voice mail - if I'd had to actually talk to a person, I probably would have lost it. 

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I was pretty upset.  When I got home from work I grabbed my camera and burned up 1/2 tank of gas just driving and stopping to take pictures I'd already taken a million times

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Then Tuesday came... and my inbox had a message from my local paper, The Record, asking me if I'd like to go out and shoot a couple freelance assignments for their magazine, "San Joaquin Woman."

YES!!  When life beats you bloody, sometimes it also sends you a band-aid.  :) 

I'm still working full-time doing sales/data entry/etc etc at my temp-to-perm position (which should become permanent within the next few weeks - and hopefully include a raise...).

I'm going to shoot the first assignment before work tomorrow (Monday) and on Friday I'm going to shoot another freelance assignment during my lunch break.  

Turning down that job because of money made me feel like a wage slave.  I know I did the "smart, logical, correct thing..." but I can't help but wonder if, in the long run, I did the "right thing...."

Anyway... some pretty pics to close out the post.

Flying home from Texas - I tried to sleep, I tried to do a cross word, I tried to listen to music, I tried to play sudoku... I couldn't do anything but sit there, look out the window and turn my brain over and over thinking about the job.

The scratched and smudged plane window distorted the image, but it's still a beautiful thing to see a sunset from the above the clouds!